The CORRECT Christmas Movie Rankings

The CORRECT Christmas Movie Rankings

It’s the holidays, so one thing is guaranteed, arguments. Every year I see some absolute bozo put out a Christmas movie rankings and every year a little piece of me dies. I just don’t understand what is going in the world anymore, we can’t even get Christmas movies right anymore?!? Well, that’s where I come in. I’m here to settle the debate regarding the best Christmas movies. The list is very simple and if you don’t agree, you must have COVID because you have absolutely no taste.

5. Coming in to start the list off is an absolute classic, A Charlie Brown Christmas. Short, simple and to the point. An all-time feel-good movie and a gem by the late great Charles M. Schulz. This has been a holiday classic for well over 50 years and really speaks of the true meaning of Christmas. It’s not about the size of the tree or what is underneath it, it’s all about who is around it. Good Grief! 

4. Elf: Some people may feel that this one deserves a better ranking, but I think it fits quite perfectly at number 4. Will Ferrell’s breakout film and man did he crush it. Elf is an underdog movie that is centered around the greatest city in the world, New York. Once again proves that even if your dad is an asshole, a little Christmas cheer will go a long way. Fun fact: the original director wanted elf to be cast as Chris Farley. 

3. Number 3 was a tough one, A Christmas Story. Now, when you think of Christmas, this movie should be one of your first thoughts. Ralphie is all-time guys guy. All he wants for Christmas is a gun. This movie has everything, it really makes me wish I was 10 years old again, without a care in the world. This movie checks all the boxes including a racist Chinese restaurant scene, which makes the movie way ahead of it’s time. Either way, when TBS airs this for 24 hours straight you can bet your ass that the channel doesn’t change. It’s the original Yule Log. HO HO HO.

2. The Santa Clause: Leading the cast for the 2nd best Christmas movie is none-other than the GOAT Tim Allen. How does a former coke dealer who turned in all his boys redeem himself? He becomes Santa Clause of course. This is a must-watch every holiday season. Tim Allen plays the perfect 90’s divorced Dad and just absolutely sleighs at Santa Clause. This movie hits all the feels, and really captures the feeling of believing in Santa Clause and all the magic Christmas brings us all over again. It also re-ensures that weight gain during the holidays is a must. 

1. Finally, coming in at number 1, (like there would be any other choice) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Clark Griswold, could you get any better? This movie is just light years infront of every other holiday film. An all-American Dad, who just goes WAY too hard with absolutely everything. From the insane amount of lights, to the massive tree.. I mean it, it’s what Christmas is about, gluttony and all-around overindulgence. Oh, and Cousin Eddie. What an absolute Gem, the broke, drunk, and homeless cousin whose heart is always in the right place. Wow .This movie honestly just has it all, and it should be number 1 on EVERYONE’S  list. Just one question, “Hey Clark where you going to fit a tree that big?”

EXTRA EXTRA:  I have bit my tongue long enough, Home Alone is NOT a Christmas movie. That movie could have taken place at any time of the year and it would have been exactly the same. You can also watch the movie in the middle of summer and just not get Xmas vibes.  Get over it, not a Christmas movie, I will die on this hill. Now the Lost in New York? Absolutely a Christmas movie. Doesn’t crack the top 5 though.

Merry Christmas to all!!

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