The Undisputed Heavyweight Titan of the World

The Undisputed Heavyweight Titan of the World

He came. He saw. He conquered.


It is what many people are saying about Kyle Chandler’s performance in the new Godzilla vs Kong movie.

He actually does nothing in this film so for everyone that went into it hoping Coach Taylor would be integral in the storyline I’m sorry to say he was trying to get a hold of his daughter for the 5 mins of screen time he received.



The real story here is the performance Godzilla, The Undisputed Heavyweight of the World, AND STILL King of the Monsters, put on. All this radioactive lizard does is put up results and he was STILL getting disrespected online and by people stuck in quarantine. First movie he takes down 3 MUTOs and everyone was writing it off like it was some unranked steppingstone contender. Take it down a few years and after laying low and having a great camp he steps into the ring with Monster Zero. King Ghidorah, a massive alien sporting 3 fully functioning heads, able to create hurricanes just by flying, and shoots fucking lightning out of all 3 mouths that had Zeus scratching his head. This should’ve been the title fight right here as these two behemoths went after it in Fenway Park in front of a packed crowd. Godzilla didn’t need all 5 rounds here to become the #1 heavyweight contender and he made quick work of Ghidorah with a knockout in the third round. Cash u3.5 tickets. I don’t know what Godzilla’s corner said to him after round 2 but it clearly worked. Oh, wait they detonated a nuclear bomb on him allowing him to go full THERMONUCLEAR. Some people say that’s unfair but in fairness to him it was 3 on 1 technically with Monster Zero’s heads all thinking separately so Dana White did allow it. Job done, setting up a highly anticipated PPV fight for the heavyweight championship of the world between Godzilla and King Kong.

Godzilla had a tough road here but let’s not write off King Kong here. He took out a few Skullcrawlers. WHY WAS HE GETTING A TITLE FIGHT SO EARLY ON?! Kong was coming in well rested as his last fight happened 50 years ago. Godzilla had about 3 years so it was the classic rest versus rust argument. Kong made use of his time growing more than 200 feet since last fighting the Skullcrawlers.

Round 1: Fight on the Water

Godzilla took this round pretty easily and looking a little deeper you can see why. Kong was chained to a boat in the middle of the artic ocean. You couldn’t walk into a better situation if you’re Godzilla. I am going to blame this on Kong slightly, I mean how did he let the humans sedate him in the first place. All I kept hearing was Kong bows to no one blah blah blah. Guy was taking a human induced nap and was halfway across the world before he even realized what was going on. Godzilla cleans up here pretty well and stays the outside waiting for the Kong mistake. Monke does survive a few monster shots and lands some of his own. Towards the end Zilla has the rear naked choke locked in but the bell ultimately saved him (humans shooting off a million depth charges). An efficient 10-9 round for the King of the Monsters but he was breathing through his mouth at the end.

Round 2: Hong Kong

Kong came into round 2 knowing he probably needed a result to win. I had it 10-9 first round but there were arguments it could’ve been a 10-8 due to the takedown at the end. His corner knew they had the wrong game plan round 1 with him being chained up and sedated in the water so they switched it up. The beautiful city of Hong Kong and fuck it lets introduce a radiation sucking Battle Axe. Kong starts off hot landing a few haymakers and wobbling Zilla. He eventually does score a knockdown which had his corner buzzing. The size, speed, power were all on display here for the King of Skull Island as he took advantage of his difference in reach. After his second knockdown we had Herb Dean foaming at the mouth to call a stoppage, but Godzilla finds his footing. They say the sound of Rogan’s leg kicks are something special and I think it also applies to Godzilla charging up that nuclear beam. Oh baby. He starts shooting that shit around and Kong is on the ropes. Controlling the octagon always counts for something and Zilla was a master at this towards the end of the second. Not wanting to take his chances with the judges he puts an end to the fight by TKO. The combination of nuclear energy, weight, and ultimately agility is how he puts down the gorilla for good. Many people were saying Zilla lost a step after his fight with Ghidorah but he silenced those people with quick feet Mayweather would be envious of. Alas Zilla moves on to 3-0, taking out more Kings than a French guillotine and proving once again that he is the BADDEST Titan on the planet.


PS – How the fuck did Millie bobby Brown find her Dad so quickly at the end of the movie. I mean they’re in Hong Kong with a population of a billion people. Now Mecha and Kong and Zilla probably decreased that number with their antics by quite a bit but with no phone or ways of communication they just randomly find each other?! Almost ruined the movie for me.

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