Should You Get The COVID-19 Vaccine?
When Pfizer announced last month that they developed a COVID-19 vaccine, everyone on the internet did exactly what you thought they would do — go completely black and white on whether or not they are going to get the vaccine. I know that these are hard times and people are confused about who to trust – The scientists who developed the vaccine? Or the random people on twitter who say the vaccine was created for the Government to track us – which they definitely don’t already do.
So, should you get the COVID-19 vaccine? Let’s find out:
1) Do You Hate Your Grandparents?
I know I’m not the only one tired of having to be careful of contracting the virus and spreading it to my Grandparents. Old people have already had their day in the sun, why should you care that the possibility of death dramatically increases for them? They drive slow, they get unnecessary discounts at stores just because of their age(bullshit!) and they love dragging you to church.
Definitely don’t get the vaccine if you hate your Grandparents.
2) Do You Still Post On Facebook?
If you’re still posting on Facebook in the year 2020, the chances that you are getting the vaccine is already near 0%. You have already liked countless articles that your aunt has shared about COVID being fake and just a tool for the left to steal the election, so you don’t need me to tell you what to do here.
3) Have You Ever Used The Porta Potties At The Boardy Barn?
If the answer to this question is yes – there is no doubt that you are already immune to COVID-19. It is actually entirely possible that the Corona Virus started at the Boardy Barn, along with the Bubonic Plague, HIV and divorce.
The same also goes for if you have ever eaten a hotdog from the Boardy Barn, which they conveniently place right next to the porta potties.
4) Are You A Senior Playing High School Sports?
Being a senior this past year has been hard, but it’s even harder if you’re an athlete. If you are a senior who is playing high school sports, I would highly recommend getting the vaccine. You do not want to miss the chance of posting an Instagram picture on gameday with the caption “I put on for my city” and then immediately disappointing your whole city by getting blown out by double digits.
However, if sports are canceled – you will get to make a dramatic post about how your moment and season got taken away from you and get those sympathy likes.
5) Are You An Asshole?
If you are just inherently an asshole, don’t get the vaccine. Why should you care about spreading this highly contagious virus? That’s right, you shouldn’t! There is absolutely nobody else in this world who should matter besides yourself. Do you live with somebody who is high-risk? That’s their problem, not yours. Does wearing a mask make you feel oppressed? It should! nobody else in this world has ever been as oppressed as you have been this past year.
I hope this blog has helped anybody who was on the fence about whether or not they should get the vaccine. Leave a comment below if you have anymore questions about getting the vaccine.