Hello everybody, I am back from my self-imposed exodus to bring you what you are really looking for going into your Fantasy football drafts: SLEEPERS.
Sleepers are the backbone of Championship teams; I would know I won the damn thing last year. How the idiots in my league let me snag Aaron Jones, Derrick Henry and Kenyan Drake was beyond me but when life gives you lemons you knew Aaron Jones was going to break free for a 52 yard touchdown down the left side to put the championship out of reach.
I’m going to give you a list of my ten (10) sleepers this year and even if you get just 4 of them you’ll be looking real nice for the upcoming COVID infested season. Some of these may be so low on the board that you will have to dig underground for but I promise the journey will be worth it.
- Christian McCaffery – Carolina Panthers RB
This guy should still be around for you late in the clock of the first overall pick. I think even though he led the league in scoring last year that he might be worth a flier this year. A lot of people have attributed his success to having Cam Newton back there and Kelvin Benjamin opening up the middle but I’m not sure that those people know what they’re talking about. He can do it all, like a magician doing stand-up, and has proven to stay healthy throughout his career. I really expect him to break out this year now that he’s dating Olivia Culpo. If I’m him I have her sitting in the end zone every game so I have that little extra motivation to get to her but that’s just me. Take this guy if he’s still available at 1 you won’t regret it.
- Lamar Jackson – Baltimore Ravens QB
One of the more popular sleepers this year is Lamar Jackson, who really struggled last year to put up points for the Ravens. The MVP stands for Most Valuable (Sleeper) Pick and I think that definitely applies to Mr. Jackson here. I was recently trying to put a list together of what this young man can’t do and all I got was crochet and scrapbooking. He may not make his offensive lineman mittens but he’ll get his fair share of touchdowns this year I can just feel it. Sure he is coming off a down year but this is where character is seen. He needs to get back in the saddle and show the world why he was drafted 30th overall behind Mayfield Darnold Allen Rosen. The other QBs in that draft class are really shining for their teams and it’s finally time for Jackson to show he is on the same level as those guys.
- Younghoe Koo – Atlanta Falcons K
I know I know, a kicker really Cmac? Just hear me out because you won’t want to miss this guy on the waiver wire this year as he goes undrafted. Younghoe Koo translate to adolescent whore and how can you not take a guy like that. Sure, he’s the only kicker in the league who cannot for some reason have the rotation any of the other kickers have. He’s not good from long range and I think he’s actually in a camp battle for his job. But if he gets the job holy shit watch out net behind the posts cause that football is making its way towards you. Week 17 last year he went 5-5 on FG and 1-1 on PATs. If the fantasy football season was just week 17 he would’ve been the number one kicker and I just cannot overlook that fact. “Cmac, the fantasy football season is over by then anyway all the leagues wrap up in Week 16” Well that’s just being a bad commissioner (I’m looking at myself). I can’t see Matt Ryan scoring a lot of touchdowns this year just because he refuses to look at Julio Jones inside the 20. Why throw it up to your 6’6 stud receiver when you can try and fit into a tight window with your slow ass tight end. Makes sense to me, and will get our boy into field goal range. Take him no earlier than the 5th round and you’ll be collecting your winnings by week 6.
- Braden Mann – New York Jets P
A punter? There isn’t even a spot for them on the roster! Well there should be and this guy would fit that role perfectly. Ever heard of the Ray Guy award? Probably not but its for the best college kicker and he won that puppy. Apparently Ray Guy is in the hall of fame too, don’t really know how that happened. He averaged last year 47 yards a punt and had almost 50% of his punts inside the 20. I’ll be honest I don’t even know if those numbers are good as I don’t follow punters but it seems real nice. The big thing is this though, this guy will take kickoffs for the Jets. As we all know kickers sometimes like to get their hands dirty on kickoffs (Jay Feely). I’m expecting he gets a touchdown this year off a fumble 6 and wouldn’t you feel stupid having him on the bench as he’s doing some weird white guy dance in the end zone. Don’t be that guy, take Braden Mann by the 10th round.
- Kyle Nelson – San Francisco 49ers LS
The New Mexico state product has really come on as of late for this Niners team who were a Varsity level starting QB away from winning the Super Bowl last year. He’s been with the SF since 2014 as a backup tight end and a long snapper. What I love about this guy is he’s willing to do anything to get more spin on that ball going into the holder. Suspended twice for performance enhancing substances he has somehow made it back every time and continues to give his holder Stigmata for the pace on the ball coming back there. He will most likely be available for you in the later rounds if by some chance your friends don’t read this article. If you’re willing to take that chance, draft him in the 14th round.
- Shawn Hochuli – NFL Referee
The Hochulis’ have a lot of history in the NFL and how can you not take this guy when his ADP is 145.7. Not many people talk about how it took him just 4 years to go from back judge to referee. It’s remarkable really but he does have those referee genes from everyone’s favorite zebra, Ed. I’m not saying take him early on but if you are looking for a guy to call a fair game and some pass interference penalties then this is your man. Shawn’s crew was 8th in pass interference penalties last year and if you pair him with a handsy receiver such as Deandre Hopkins, it could bode well for your offense. The biggest thing you’re going to get with Hochuli is consistency, he’s not going to be on the injury report every week. He’ll be ready for when you need him and what a great person to have in the locker room.
- Scott Hanson – NFL Redzone Host
I mean where would we be without this ray of light? Nobody and I mean nobody can do what this man does every Sunday. I feel like most of us already do what he does just on our couches. Damn how did he get that job? I could watch football for 8 hours no problem. The worst is when he shows your team from like the 40 and you think wow we scored why else would they be showing this and it winds up being your QB threw an incomplete pass on third down. That’s okay that would mean we’d have either Braden Mann or Younghoe coming in. Scott to me is like a friend who doesn’t always know what you gambled on and accidentally roots for your team to lose. He never seems to show me the touchdown I need for the back door cover. Hope he’s doing okay in this quarantine world but when you think about it the safest place for him is probably the redzone studio. Take Scott Hanson to fill out your roster before week 1.
- A few beers before the draft starts
We’ve all been there. Sober and trying to outwit everyone with our picks. The only thing better than being sober at a draft is having some brews. I highly suggest having a few before you start, it will improve your trash talking and give you the confidence to go for that Defense and Special teams in the 4th round. Fantasy football isn’t about playing nice its about getting your guys and saying “wow I can’t believe this guy is still here” after every pick you make. I would highly suggest doing that after you pick our sleeper McCaffery with the first pick, it WILL make your dad laugh. You need to immediately get into your opponents’ heads and let them know that every guy on their roster was taken too early. It’s hard to come back from that and you’ll only get better at it with a few drinks in you. Slainte
- Steve Levy, Brian Griese, Louis Riddick – MNF Booth
This one is close to my heart as I’ve crossed paths for Steve Levy quite a few times over my college career. As a fellow Laker, we had become close after a few chance encounters. (I had met him once and I said something about the Jets sucking and him being a Jets fan he laughed but I don’t even think he heard me cause he never answered and it was one of those laughs you just do cause you didn’t hear the person but it doesn’t matter cause you don’t care about what they’re saying anyway). The picture I got with him was blurry too but were all past that now cause my picture with Ron Jeremy came out perfect. Yes we had some weird people coming into Oswego huh. These guys should be real good out of the gate, better than Booger screaming with his Edward Scissorhand hands. Much respect to Booger, I like him as a person, just not good at calling games.
- Doing a draft recap and skewing the results so you have the best team
This one will set the tone for the entire season. If you do it juuuuuuust right you won’t even have to play the season everyone will just pay you after the draft. We all know that after the teams are picked we rosterbate with the boys and try to see who has the best team. In some cases the software will do the job for you and if this is the case you need to alter it so it’s your team. Listen if you take my sleepers here you won’t even need to alter it but if you are stubborn this is a last ditch hail mary. Everyone will see that you have the best team and that it’s not even worth trying. You’re already up on them and if you followed my instructions and said “that’s way too early” every pick, they’re going to be done. Do this and you will have success beyond your wildest imagination.
Alright folks, that is all I have for you but that is plenty to get you through the grind of the draft. Get these 10 guys and you’ll be in charge of the punishment this year. Younghoo!!