This Man Needs To Be Incarcerated

I am the poster-boy for a man who knows many things but is a master of nothing, but the only thing that I am truly a qualified expert to talk about is — twitter.com. Something that I am not too proud of, but hey — you gotta embrace the things that you’re good at.

In my seven years on twitter, I’ve come across many terrible accounts, some that are laced with negativity, toxic masculinity, glorification of adultery and many other terrible sins. However, sometimes you find a needle in a haystack and find someone who just wants to spread positivity, lifesaving advice and ultimately — get some e-pussy along the way. The account that I am talking about is none other than Gerald Riggins Jr — better known by his handle @geraldjr.

When for some unknown reason, God graced this tweet upon my timeline, my first thought was “Is this man plagiarizing the famous 1800’s poet Johann Wolgang von Goethe?” There was just no way that a man so young could possibly have the wisdom of someone who has lived multiple lifetimes. I just knew that I had to dig deeper and pick the mind of Gerald.

After I came across this tweet, I realized I have never been so wrong in my life, I knew this man was no fraud — he actually might be a full-blown serial killer. There is absolutely no context nor situation that you can use the word “baby girl” and not sound like an outright murderer. This is how I imagine Ted Bundy would lure his victims today if he were on social media. Imagine playing a game of Scrabble and one of your lads uses his finite amount of letter blocks to spell out “baby girl”? I’d almost guarantee, you wouldn’t look at your friend the same ever again . I’ll give Gerald the benefit of the doubt, maybe this was the only time he has done this.

Nope, this guy needs to be added to an FBI watch list immediately. I cannot even begin to imagine how many girls are locked up in this man’s basement right now. He’s like if John Wayne Gacy and Tony Robbins fucked and had a kid who lures in his victims with a false sense of security and manipulation via social media.

This is just absolute psychopath behavior. This guy took to apple fucking notes to write a dissertation for virgins(people who have not done the sex, yet) enrolling in college. “don’t fall for this fuckboy game these frat boys finna put in ya head, I WAS ONE.” He is pretty much openly admitting that he has killed people and has tons of bodies in his basement @fbi @cops.

As long as nobody is trying to personally reach out to this man for any reason, I think we can contain him.

You gotta be kitten me, Gerald(who has definitely killed many people) is giving out advice to unsuspecting people on twitter? Hey you want advice, ladies? RUN! log the fuck off before Gerald gets your IP address and the coroner finds your body in the Atlantic Ocean.


If there isn’t a lifetime documentary “Surviving Gerald” already in the pre-production stage, then I don’t know what the fuck we’re waiting for. So many people are falsely imprisoned and @geraldjr is free to roam the internet using the word “baby girl” without any repercussions — society is going to hell. #IncarcerateGerald

Side Note: I am sitting diagonally across from a middle-aged man at the library who is saving pictures of women on the public computer and emailing them to himself — incarcerate that man as well. #IncarcerateOldManAtTheLibrary

Avatar

About Chris Benzola

kill me

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*