PSA: A Long Islander’s Goodbye

This is a Public Service Announcement devoted specifically to those who have had the pleasure of hailing from the great town of Manorville. To my displeasure, I regret to inform you that Manorville is now nothing more than East Mastic.

I have recently decided to head west, to live in the Mountains, far off the beaten path, in search of Mr. Sorrentino. While Juan lives in that inferno they call California, and Jimbo currently resides in an area of New York commonly referred to as upstate, this leaves only one.

Brandon Resta, more commonly known as Mastic4life or il Duce, and as you may know is the co-creator of this very site. Brandon has reigned over Mastic for quite some time now and his pure dictatorship has went unquestioned by the great people of Manorville.

Unfortunately our level of ignorance has grown rather comparable to the world’s during the Nazi regime, and just like Hitler, Brandon’s empire is spreading. Recently Brandon has slipped through our gates and has been unknowingly living in our beautiful town, a place that I’ve often referred to as the Shire. Now, with no one left to defend our home, it looks like the Shire has slowly began to start looking more and more like Mount Doom.

If there are any survivors out there, I encourage you to get out, get out now. You will literally be safer with Juan in California, which is currently on fire.

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