Fantasy Football Week 3

It’s that amazing time of the year again people, football is officially back. But more importantly Fantasy Football is back. That beautiful time of the year where you are landlocked into your couch in a pit of self loathing because you are regretting taking Le’veon Bell in the first and you let Mahomes ride on your bench. You dumb fuck.


These articles are here to guide you through the enigma of what is Fantasy Football. I,  like you, are very similar. Except I am smarter, more handsome and did the research and didn’t get blackout on draft night and take a QB before round 7. But from here on out, I promise, I will provide you will invaluable advice that will lead to the chip.

Locks of the Week:

This segment isn’t for players like Antonio Brown or Todd Gurley. If you need someone to convince you to play athletes like these in any situation 1) Please join my league 2) You are a dipshit.

QB Matt Ryan: This matchup seems to be very plush for scoring. The over/under is at 53 and I would happily take the over. To start, both defenses are TRASH. The preconceived notions of what these defenses were, please throw out the door. The Falcons have lost two of the most intrinsic parts of their defense safety Keanu Neal and linebacker Deion Jones. Drew Brees and company will have no problem ripping this defense apart which will allow Matt Ryan to air it out against this defense that has allowed Ryan Fitzpatrick to throw for 400+ yards and 5 total touchdowns. So yea…Give me a more talented Matt Ryan with much more dominant weapons.


RB Latavius Murray: The thing about the Bills, they suck. So bad. To start Dalvin Cook isn’t playing this week. Probably to save him because this match up wasn’t worth the risk of injury  re aggravation. More importantly, over the past 12 games the Buffalo Bills have allowed 21 rushing TD’s to RB’s and 3 receiving. Amazing right? It gets better. This season the bills have given up on average 14 PPR points to BACKUP running backs. Start Latavius with confidence in all formats who is the starter.


TE Eric Ebron: Jack Doyle is out for this game, but who cares right? WRONG. Andrew Luck is more scared then your sweet, long gone virginity on prom night. He has the lowest yards per attempt in the NFL, worse than Dak Prescott and Eli Manning(sad). Not only do TE’s run a majority of underneath, safety blanket routes but Ebron already had 2 TE’s this year while being out snapped and targeted by Jack Doyle. This game should be a shootout with Wentz coming back after being embarrassed by the Bucs. Gimme Ebron all day.


DST: Cowboys: They are much better than advertised. They made the Giants O-line look abysmal. The Giants O-Line sucks though so why is that impressive you may be asking yourself. It’s because the Seahawks line make the Giants offensive line look all like future Hall of Famers. It’s truly impressive how bad they are. I do not care how good Russell Wilson is he cant do shit with the weapons he has with the time he is given to throw. Streamer of the week.

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