Conspiracy Theory: Who Is Chris Benzola

As long as I’ve known my friend and creator of this website Chris Benzola, he has claimed to be actively going to college. But in this time i have found no evidence of when he will graduate, what his major is, or even what college he goes to. It’s time we all come to the realization that he has never in fact taken a college class in his life.
I met Chris New Year’s Eve 2013. For the last 5 unfortunate years I’ve spent enduring his company he has some how still been in college. No matter how many times I ask him when he’s going to graduate he always beats around the bush and can’t give me a definitive date. So I’m here to pose the question, what has Chris really been doing since he graduated high school?
Maybe working on solving the US debt crisis, attempting to end world hunger, or most likely knowing the type of person chris is he’s just been drinking entirely too much going to the gym and tweeting sabermetrics about every sporting event going on.
The what really isn’t the important question though what has kept me up countless nights is the why. Why has Benzola found it necessary to put on a facade and pretend to be a college student. What is he really up to and why has he not allowed even one of his closest friends in on his master plan.
I’m not a big conspiracy believer but this one is just too obvious to disbelieve. I haven’t been able to put the pieces together to crack this case, I’m neither smart nor care enough to figure it out but Hopefully this blog will put some pressure on him to come out and admit what he’s really up to.

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