The Movie Everyone Didn’t Know They Needed is Coming

First we had Taken, then we had Taken 2, then we had Taken 3, then we saw Liam Neeson save everyone on a New York City subway, and now we have Liam Neeson fighting his biggest enemy, SNOW. That’s right, Liam Neeson is playing a snowplow operator who must seek revenge against the drug cartel that murdered his son in the upcoming movie Hard Plow. You might be telling yourself that this sounds exactly like every other movie he does, and to that I say, you’re absolutely fucking right. As a man who has only seen parts of the first Taken and literally none of the other three movies that I listed, I’m probably the most qualified person to write about this.

I’ll be honest, I first scoffed at this movie idea, as it sounds like it’s the worst fucking idea ever and that they just selected scenarios out of a hat. I have also never been a huge fan of Taken, I always thought it was a bit overhyped but had some solid quotable lines, and through the use of the scientific method, I used context clues to figure out what the next two installments in the Taken series were probably about. These past few months however, I’ve been really into cinema, and have been trying to see every new release and good movies from the past few years. Now after thinking about this movie for the bare minimum amount of time, I’m fucking on board with it.

I’m so on board with this movie, that I’m probably going to spend a million dollars just to see it in IMAX. There’s nothing like going to the movie theatre and turning your brain off for two hours with the IMAX sound blasting into your ears on a Tuesday afternoon just to watch Liam Neeson kill some cartel members as a snowplow operator. It wouldn’t surprise me if this turns out to be the modern day Casablanca.

I’ve always wondered if Liam Neeson’s agent even reaches out to him before telling the studio that Neeson will be doing the movie. Imagine reading a script and your main part in the movie is a fucking snowplow driver? This script must have some pretty thought provoking dialogue to accept this fucking role. In every single movie that he’s in, he is always getting revenge on somebody. I’d bet my families life that he’s going to end up being a retired CIA agent/Cop in this movie to explain why he can kill many people, with such ease.

My last thought on this is gonna be, if we’re going to keep making Liam Neeson movies like this, let’s make him a blogger in the next movie, and he has to get revenge on all the people who don’t read his blogs. I’d probably rate that movie higher than the Godfather and Godfather pt.2 combined.

Thank you for reading, and I’ll have more thoughts on Hard Plow after the rest of the casting is revealed.

About Chris Benzola

Nobody owns as many throwback jerseys as I do

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