New Orleans; The Last True Outlaw Town

I was going to try to spin this into a willyums weird take but honestly this isn’t a weird take it’s just straight facts. I’m a seasoned New Orleans visitor and this past weekend I exposed my girlfriend (a Nola virgin) to this wild land. It was around 1am on bourbon street after we watched a man suplex another man into a puddle of alcohol, semen and god knows what else that I came to the realization that New Orleans is more dangerous and lawless than a 19th century town in the Wild West. As you find yourself walking down any street in the French quarter you’ll stumble upon a number of guaranteed things, and I’m going to take you on a virtual tour witnessing the good the bad and the ugly.

 The most obvious will be a copious amount of overly intoxicated people stumbling the streets who look like they’ve never heard of an open container ticket. It is pretty rad being able to walk from bar to bar with out having to finish your drink though it’s most of the reason the entire city always smells like shit. Much like the pioneers of a different time people in the crescent city spend all day and into the wee hours of the morning drinking.

I don’t think it’s news to anyone that heavy drinking leads to illegal activity. Which is why the inhabitants of the city are amongst the visitors trying to sell all sorts of drugs, sexual favors and of course stolen guns.

You’re probably thinking as you’ve past a group of 12 year old children banging on empty buckets pretending they’re drums hoping you drop a dollar into a hat, where are the police? Well all you need to do is look at the unconcerned men sitting atop stallions. New Orleans cops have the easiest job imaginable. I’m certain that if you google their job description all it says is “learn to ride a horse and don’t intervene in any illegal activity until people start shooting”

Modern day New Orleans and any frontier town really have most of the same laws or lack there of. If you’ve watched westworld and fantasized about being able to  run the streets peeing on cobblestone, fighting and challenging people to duels for minor insults with zero repercussions look no further, New Orleans is the city for you. It’s as close as you will ever get to being an outlaw.

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