With another sub par summer closing out, and my urges to kick the bucket at exponentially high levels, I’m trying to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. In roughly one month, the NFL makes it’s return to our Sundays, and I could not be more excited for another inevitable under achieving New York Jet season. But that’s not what this article is for. This article is for citing my top four most electrifying NFL players of the modern Era.
4. Michael Vick
Questionable arm talent and accuracy, swagger, and the agility of a puma, Michael Vick was an entertainer on and off the football field. (Insert dog fighting reference) Russel Wilson doesn’t have shit on Vick in terms of mobility. The dude could flat out run, and not just from the cops. Neglecting his well below-average stats, I always was excited to watch this guy compete on Sundays.
3. Brett Favre
Im going to rock with QB’s for the first two choices, and for those who were too young to watch this guy play, just know this next player had an arm like a fucking rocket. If you look up gunslinger in the dictionary that’s probably not in your home, don’t expect to see a Jesse James type, expect to see Brett Favre sporting a pair of Wrangler jeans armed with a pigskin in is right hand. Trust me, he’s far more dangerous than a cowboy, especially in the workplace. Not only did he torment defenses’ during his time in the league, but he also tormented co-workers even worse by slingin’ dickpicks around like beads on Mardi Gras. What a guy. When Favre spun the football and it somehow didn’t end up in the hands of a defensive back, it was nothing short of spectacular, and aside from all of the re-retiring diva antics, he was a true ironman and a fan favorite.
2. Rob Gronkowski
Theres something about a cocky, douchey, frat star personality that insecure girls and myself are drawn to. Red zone threat? More like bed zone threat. Newsflash Brady, you’re not the only angel-faced stud up in New England. There is not a defensive player in the league who can guard this man one on one, and most teams don’t have two d-backs who can handle that challenge. It’s gotten to the point where teams head hunt this guy and take the penalty and potentially a fine, it happened in the second quarter of the AFC Championship game last year when Barry Church absolutely demolished Gronk with a head shot and sidelined my man for the rest of the game.
1. Ray Lewis
Possibly the greatest leader in sports history is Ray Lewis. He was the focal point on arguably the strongest defense of all time in the early 2000s, that squad went 50 straight games without allowing a 100 yard rusher, pretty KILLER if you ask me. That defense carried the worst NFL analyst of all time, Trent Dilfer, to the promised land and took home the Super Bowl. Dilfer is probably the most below average QB to ever win a ring, and it was all because of Lewis and company. Every time a Ray Lewis led Raven’s defense takes the field, they absolutely MURDERED the opposition.