Is Working Weekends More Trash Than Mon-Fri?

It’s Summertime, and that means drinking everyday of the week is not only acceptable, but also encouraged. If there was ever a time to not have a job, it’s summer. As a recent college graduate who works only on weekends, I have learned the hard-way that scheduling and coordinating days to blackout with my lads who are slaves to the workforce has never been so difficult. Most of my former drinking buddies now have nine-to-fives, and can’t toss a couple back on weekdays like they once could. This is what lead to my most recent theory, that working only on Friday and Saturday is actually worse than working Monday through Friday.

Working Weekdays (Mon-Fri 9-5):

Cons: There are many obvious cons for working throughout the entire week. First off, you have to work five days straight, which is just God-awful. What’s worse than getting home late and having to scarf down your cold dinner and squeeze in an hour or two of TV before bed? Getting up early and doing it all again, that’s whats worse. Along with this, people who have to be up early for work on Monday’s don’t really get to maximize their Sunday’s. For all of you living on Long Island, you know exactly what I’m referring to.. the Boardy Barn. The most infamous bar on the East coast. A place where the beer flows like wine for only 6 hours a week.. from 2pm to 8pm on Sunday afternoons throughout the summer. The Barn is the happiest place on Earth, and it has only one true enemy… Monday mornings. If your of the same mindset as me, you’d proclaim “Don’t let your Monday ruin your Sunday”, but that’s easy for me to say because I get to lay my lazy ass in bed the entire following day hungover as shit since I don’t have a real job.

Pros: I don’t care what anyone says.. there isn’t a better feeling than cracking open that first beer after a long work-week. You earned it boss. Booze just tastes so much better when you feel like you’ve deserved it. This doesn’t only apply to working an entire week straight, but it also applies to other subjects such as eating a cheat meal after working out hard in the gym for awhile.

Working Only Weekends: 

Cons: There are so many obvious cons to working on Friday and Saturday nights. Some of these need not be said, such as the fact that you can’t go out on the most popular nights of the week. Along with this, you often can’t capitalize on those “You up?” text messages. Yeah I’m up, I’m on the clock for another four fucking hours.

Pros: Working only on weekends unsurprisingly comes with a ton of positives. First and foremost, you work far less. If your like me, you try to get away with doing the bare minimum, so working 3 days less than those 9-to-5 suckers sounds like music to my ears. Another mentionable pro is that you can hit the gym regularly, hence how I keep my amazing physique. Why do you think that everyone you know over the age of 25 who works Monday thru Friday is so out of shape?.. Because they don’t have time to go to the gym, idiot. And for those rare, brave souls that do show up to the gym fresh from the office, still in their work suits… you guys are the most mentally discipline people alive. I can’t even imagine having the ambition to pull this off.. that’s some navy seal shit. These people are the biggest sociopaths on the planet, so if you see one of these guys at your local gym, keep your distance.

I’m a man who enjoys the finer things in life, and sleeping until 10 a.m. everyday is a luxury that not many people are granted, unless you work weekends like me. Due to my lack of work on Mondays, I also get to blackout on the best day of the week, Sunday.. and not be filled with regret the next day. Another bonus of working while everyone you know is out partying and enjoying themselves is that it gives you an excuse to not go out and blow all your money. Along with this, when you do actually get to go out, and you run into people you know, they actually are happy to see you. Trust me. Chicks don’t give a shit about a guy they see at the bar every single Friday and Saturday night. They like a new face, or even better, a face only seen periodically. This goes a long way my friend. Basically what I’m saying is your value goes up. Less quantity (less times your seen out) = Higher quality. It’s basic social economics.

 

Verdict:

In conclusion, working in general sucks. You can’t win doing either, so do yourself and your overall happiness a huge favor and just quit your job. The working mans a sucker. Apply for social security at the young age of 23 (like me) and enjoy your early retirement.

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