Willyums Weird Takes: Peeing Sitting Down

So this week’s “Weird Takes” are honestly not that weird because i think a lot more guys do this than they’re willing to admit. But for some reason society wants to shame us for being comfortable. I don’t know why but I’m here at the forefront of bringing awareness to men who sit down when they pee.

When the man was placed on this earth it made sense for them to pee standing up. The whole world was their bathroom. They weren’t going to sit in the dirt to pee. It’s not like they had time to care about where they were going pee, they were preoccupied worrying about throwing a rock at a deer as their next meal or the fucking dinosaurs trying to kill them. But as man evolved so did our sanitary inventions. We started with holes in the ground then someone decided to enclose those holes when the outhouse was coined. Now in 2018 if you’re lucky enough to have a dad who has a lucrative tile company in Westhampton beach you can even buy a $10,000 toilet with a  built in bidet. So why is it that man refuses to evolve the way we go pee just as we’ve evolved what we pee into.

Being able to stand while you pee is a nice added bonus to being a guy but it doesn’t mean you need to do it every time you pee. You keep that in your back pocket for when you wake up still drunk in your buddy’s basement and his cats liter box is closer than walking upstairs to the bathroom (sorry steve). Much like a  parachutists reserve chute its, not your first choice, but its nice to know you’ve got it in your pocket when you’re in a jam.

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