Tipping is literally the WORST

Tipping is literally the worst shit ever. I would rather live in a third-world country where currency hasn’t even been established yet than have to pay for my server’s wages on top of my mediocre meal. Can someone please tell me why this is pretty much the only occupation where an employer can legally get away with not paying their workers above the minimum wage? Doesn’t make much fucking sense to me. Instead, the restaurant industry has tricked people not only into coming into their establishments and buying their shit food, but then, once we’re done we also have to pay their often unenthusiastic employees (not the one’s who cook the food..) just the one’s who deliver it from Point A to Point B. Why? And before you get all up-in-arms, trust me, I know all about how difficult it is to be a waitress, people won’t shut the fuck up about it.. But how the Hell do the customers end up footing the bill for their salary? Who came up with this scam?? Hey, restaurant owners, here’s an idea.. pay your fucking employees. Cheap pricks.

While spending time abroad in the entrancing continent of Europe, I became fond of many things, fine wine, medieval architecture, and women with armpit hair.. but none of these were as mesmerizing and lovely as the fact that in Europe when you go out for a meal YOU DON’T HAVE TO FUCKING TIP. Wow! Shocking I know, how can any business survive? A true marvel.  It seems like these people got it all figured out. On-top of this, smoking in restaurants is way less frowned upon. An additional plus.

In my opinion, America should take notes from our European counterparts. And for all those people who say “if you can’t afford to tip you shouldn’t be going out to eat” do me a favor and go fuck yourself. Hate to break it to ya, but you’re going to be on the wrong side of history once everyone in this country gets their heads out of their asses and realizes we’ve been getting duped for years. People also sometimes make arguments that the servers in places like Europe who don’t work for tips are are far less friendly due to the fact that they don’t have to kiss your ass to literally survive, but I could care less. I’m not a child, I don’t need to be charmed while I’m out to eat. In fact, while I was in Europe I also discovered that it actually feels GOOD to leave the servers tips, because you know that it isn’t a social requirement like it is here, just a polite bonus (as it should be). And guess what, the people actually appreciate it SO much more, as compared here in America where if you dare leave a “shitty” tip, that whole facade of fake niceness immediately dissipates and you get your ass chewed out from not only the server but everyone you’re with.

If you don’t see the point I’m actually getting at.. what I’m trying to say is that everyone deserves proper wages from their employers, which is the real issue at hand. These people who run food establishments pass off the obligation to pay their employees to us, and then we look like dicks if we protest against it. There is literally NOTHING more taboo than not tipping, it’s literally the only thing we as a society can universally agree is fucked up. What i’m suggesting is that we cure the disease, not treat the symptoms, by addressing the root of this predicament. Fuck restaurant owners, pay your employees.

Also, if you guys thought that this was in some way a direct shot at waiters, think again. In my opinion, the same goes for bar tenders, in fact maybe more so. Why would I pay for someone to literally hand me a can of unopened beer? I literally lose sleep at night thinking about how many times I’ve tipped after ordering a Bud Light and the bar tender literally turns around, grabs one right off the shelf, and hands it to me. The entire verbal and physical exchange lasts a 30 second maximum, yet I have to pay additional costs. Fuck that. And guess what, all of you people who are thinking “easy for this fuckin’ guy to say, he obviously doesn’t have a job where tipping is an option” WRONG. Although I am not a server, my current occupation is actually one where you’d regularly tip, on-top of that I commute an hour to work in the Hampton’s where you’re surrounded by the most financially elite people in the country and guess what, most of the time they don’t tip. Even still, I never cry or feel cheated when they don’t give me extra money. Being cheap pays I guess. Once again, for the people who are perceiving this as me being bitter, I’m not. I’m on your side, I can’t stress this enough. I know that waitressing is the most common profession in the country for non-college graduate women, (thank you Reservoir Dogs) and the fact that almost universally all restaurant owners don’t feel a need to compensate their employees adequately is a fucking injustice. This shits gotta stop, and it will be in the best interest of not only the customers, but even more importantly the employees.

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