Fuck Shark Week

Yesterday was the start of the most overrated week of the fucking year. There is nothing more fake hyped up than Shark Week. The only people that like shark week are the same people that retweet celebrity parody accounts and post “damn I need a bae to watch Shark Week with :/”. If you enjoy it, you’re either a sharkologist or you’re a fucking liar.

There is no possible way anyone fucking enjoys this shit as much as they claim. Literally every single segment is a 2 hour shark documentary that you would watch in marine biology 101. It’s so god damn boring. People can barely sit through a two minute funny YouTube video, and you expect me to believe people are actually enjoying watching shark documentaries? No fucking shot.

And don’t even get me started on all the fake shit they put out. People are so fucking dumb, they actually believed Shark Weeks 2014 Meglodon documentary and their fucking mermaid episode. Mermaids aren’t even god damn sharks. I’m the only person brave enough to call out any of these things out.

Nothing will ever piss me off more than last year when they advertised Michael Phelps racing a fucking Great White. They literally claimed that Michael Phelps was going to go head to head with a shark like it was the Olympics. You know what we fucking got instead? Michael Phelps racing a simulated shark. They lied to all of our fucking faces, their credibility is out the window.

You want to get me into watching Shark Week, Discovery channel? Release a Sharkeisha documentary. Sharkeisha went viral five fucking years ago and they haven’t made a documentary about that day. FUCK SHARK WEEK!

About Chris Benzola

Nobody owns as many throwback jerseys as I do

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