Belgium vs France World Cup semi-final betting guide

Let me preface this by saying I took Belgium at the start of the tournament +850 so let’s hope they win, that would buy my kneecaps another week or two. Also, I’m sure no one will click on this because it’s a soccer blog so if you did stumble upon this accidentally, merci. Now to the good stuff. Belgium vs France in what many people are calling the actual World Cup final but it is indeed in the semis. France got here but systemically taking down a Uruguay team who forgot to put a goalie in for the game. For as much praise Mbappe is getting for his speed the most impressive thing is he was fast enough to not get bit by Suarez. Not my best joke but this is a satire site so had to fit something in there. Belgium got here by convincing Brazil to shoot at their own net in the first half and in the second half convincing them to not shoot at their net. Incredibly innovative strategy that many other teams might want to adopt. Add in a ridiculous bottom titty clap bomb from the Ginger Belgian Jesus and you get the 2-1 final score that I was on the wrong end of. Did I mention I have Belgium to win the whole damn thing?


France Advances (-135)

Belgium Advances (+105)

France – .5 (+145)/ ML (+145)

Belgium +.5 (-175)/ ML (+200)

O 2.5 (+100)

U 2.5 (-130)

Draw (+200)

Not exactly the odds you are looking for if you think Belgium gets it done or will draw at the very least. France haven’t been that impressive this tournament aside from the dismantling of JV Argentina but they have the star power and balance to beat any team on the planet. Uruguay was a good defensive team and with the early goal off the set piece, France sat back and just waited for Uruguay to try and come forward…which they never really did. Belgium have the horses to hit on the counter and hit hard as we saw in their game against Brazil. Lukaku was a fucking meat stick, marauding through the midfield like Revere through the dirt roads of Boston. This game will probably be more open than the recent games depending on the lineup Martinez throws out for the Red Devils. France are still trying to find an identity while Belgium has set their sights on being a deadly counter attacking squad and relying on Waluigi in net to bail them out. Didier Deschamps look like a shitty version of George Washington while Roberto Martinez looks, well he looks normal so advantage Belgium. Thinking Hazard gets one today as well as Lukaku while France finds goals thanks to Pogba and Giroud. Feel free to fade my picks because contrary to my Nicolas Cage blog these are far from 100% correct.

In the end I think Belgium find a way to get it done in penalties. Let’s go 2-2 in regulation so slam that over and Belgium to advance in pks 4-3. +800 for Belgium to win in Pks is staring you in the face and all you must do is grab it.

P.S. It’s coming….

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